Yesterday, I spent the latter part of the day strolling down memory lane. I re-read my journal and found that I have been complaining about the same things for ten years! I came across an email from an old boyfriend that I'd printed out and stapled to one of the pages in my journal. It was a poem about love -- yesterday was the first time that I noticed that the email was originally sent to his attention and he had added some of his own sweet sentiments and then forwarded it on to me. I don't know why I never noticed that - blinded by love I guess. Anyway, he's now married to that woman who'd poured her heart out to him in poetry. C'est la vie, right?
While I was digging through my past (which by the way is kept in a blue plastic bin) I stumbled across four different versions of SUGAR.
The original, a 17 page short story.
Opening line: "I was crying again today. I know it's silly 'cause my husband tells me so. But even though its been 10 years I can still feel the pain of loss." (*cringing*)
Version 2, 192 pages.
Opening Lines: "The winter was something unlike anything the residence of Toshtown had ever see. Monday through Wednesday, sometimes Thursday, the temperature drop way below freezing and suddenly sky rocket into the 80's" (Pretty bad, huh?)
Version 3, 220 pages.
Opening Lines: "In a place where cotton once grew for as far as the eye could see, mother's who did not speak the same language as the white men that whipped and spit on them, looked up at the sun and wondered how it could shine so brightly and still allow this thing called cold to chill their bones..." (getting a little better - but still no cigar!)
Version 4, 290 pages:
Opening lines: "Jude was dead. On a day when the air held a promise of summer and people laughed aloud, putting aside for a brief moment their condition, color and where they ranked among humanity..."
The final version was sold ten years ago this month. But before it was sold, I received 73 rejections. Yeah, 73, I counted the letters this morning.
I know you writers out there have been keeping up with "query/fail" phenomena, where agents blogged about failed query letters on Twitter, which of course led to "agent/fail" where writers posted their complaints about agents.
Well here is a letter that I received from an agent who had originally rejected my manuscript:
Certainly NOT an agent who would end up on the Agent/Fail list.
I guess I've taken the time to write all of this because after all it is GOOD FRIDAY and even with all of the blah going in my personal and professional life, I woke up feeling GOOD, thankful, positive and encouraged. Things get better, dreams come true, doors close and windows open....
11 comments:
Your story of persistence encourages me to get back to my book #2. Thank you.
Wow, Bernice. This is so powerful. Jesus, 73! And I thought the 20 I got for triptych was harsh. I encourage you to self-publish. You have a huge, loyal base that is carving your next oeuvre. Who cares that some myopic editor who's clamoring to publish a dead guy's latest book or the latest starf***ing tell-all can't see that? I'd be in line -- or online -- to get my copy of Glorius in hand. GO FOR IT!!!!
Can't spell, apparently. I meant Glorious.
I love what you said: Doors close and windows open. So true, so true.
Thank you for giving me the courage to think that persistence may look like a self published book. After seven years of hard work and more drafts than I want to think about, still no takers. My agent thinks I have a great book, editors think it's a great book but don't think it fits anywhere.
I'm in the speculative genre and that door is all but closed to people of color. So like you said do I let my novel sit at the bottom of my dusty desk drawer, at 54 I don't think I have that kind of time. If I was younger maybe I would be a little more patience. So I’ve given myself a deadline for some small presses to consider my baby and then if they decline I'm considering doing my own thing.
Of course I'm still working on the next novel that not fantasy and maybe that will be the one to go the traditional route but I don't see the speculative fiction genre changing anytime soon for POC.
I hope to meet you at your book signing in Southfield that's only a stone’s throw from where I live so my sister and I would love to come and have our books signed.
Bernice, I admire you for your persistence. I'm glad you kept trying.
Like others had said you have the necessary following to be successful in self publishing.
Bernice, thanks for sharing. I think we all, no matter our career, have moments of frustration as we pursue our goals. Sometimes we desire a thing at one moment in time, but God's timing is different than ours. We begin to feel as if we are stuck or "on hold," but actually, we are in training or being developed for that perfect moment when ability and opportunity collide. Lean not to your own understanding and seek wisdom from above.
I have been putting your name in the Amazon seach box looking for the title of your next release outside of Geneva. You are a proven storyteller. I wish that publishing industry would wake up. I am hungry for another offering by you.
Thanks all!
Few people realize the difficult journey of writers, especially those of color. Your story is moving and similar to my own publishing path. But you are far braver than I. For I have never had the courage to count the rejections. I just keep looking for that one YES.
I love "Sugar." Reading it was like watching a movie for me ...very vivid. Whatever route you take, self-publish or tradional, keep writing!!!
Oops! Meant "traditional." I really can spell! :)
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