I think best when I'm out on the open road and so I jumped in my car and drove down to NC with Jay-Z blaring from my speakers (my fave cuts are: "Off That " and "A Star is Born") Eleven hours later and dog-tired I arrived at my destination and climbed into bed, where I remained for days.....until the little girl inside me - the one that has guided me since I was eight years old and first put pen to paper - poised the simplest of questions:
Her: Are you really gonna let them win?
The "them" of course are the people that have fixed their heels against my literary throat.
My response: I think they've already won.
And then there was that very sad: tsk - tsk-tsk -- and I saw that little girl me, shaking her head with disappointment.
Me: Maybe this is not what I was meant to do.
Her: Really, after thirty-six years...all of a sudden, this is no longer your calling?
Me: *shamefully quiet*
Her: What you gonna do, forget your manifest destiny and go out and get a 9-5?
Me: *shrugging shoulders* It looks like I might have to.
Her: You suck!
Me: I know.
Her: Where is the fighter I used to know?
Me: Beaten and tired.
Her: What about the ancestors? *tapping her foot and glaring at me*
Me: They're going to have to tell their stories to someone else.
Her: Did you tell them that?
Me: Can't you pass on the message?
Her: I ain't no goddamn carrier pigeon!
Me: *Shrugging shoulders*
Her: What about Sugar?
Me: What about her?
Her: She's depending on you to accomplish in 2010 what you couldn't in 2000.
Me: She'll be alright.
Her: So you going to do her like that?
Me: I ain't doing nothing.
Her: That's the fucking problem! You Ain't doing nothing!
Me: Shut up!
Her: No, you shut up!
Me *quiet*
Her: It ain't just about you, you know. It's about the people who are coming up behind you and the ones that came before you.
Me: But I can't --- *wining*
Her: Can't? You know that word ain't part of our vocabulary! *hand raised to back slap me across my face*
****LONG PAUSE*******
ME: You're right.
Her: Ain't I always?
Me: Thank you for reminding me.
Her: Next time bunk all this talk - I'm just going to give you a swift kick in your ass.
Me: Thank you.
Her: You can thank me climbing out of that bed, brushing your teeth and and putting on something other than those holy, faded, pajamas - which by the way - is not a good look for you.
Please purchase at least one copy of SUGAR for yourself, a friend or family member. Cut and paste this message into your email program and send it out to your list. Tweet, Blog, Facebook and Myspace it.... !!
Thanking you in advance for helping SUGAR make history!
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2 comments:
Wow! I had no idea that this was a common practice in the publishing industry. I'm new to all this and I hope to help break some of these barriers. I often find that when stories are told about Africans, African Americans or other cultures, the ones who support the effort are usually not from that nationality. For example, I was one of the few African Americans in the audience when the author of Hotel Rwanda came to speak... I don't get it. All that to say even if we are not interested in our own story, it seems only logical to make them available to others who are - just a thought. Thank you for sharing this and I will be purchasing a copy of the book for sure. Always looking for a great read! Continued success to you.
Isunji
I'm glad she slapped some sense into you.. Just curious: What was she wearing?
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