All is well with the Universe...

Last week I went to visit the final resting place of novelist, Nella Larsen. She's buried at Cypress Hill Cemetery, which is not more than seven minutes away from me. Some years back I read the biography, In Search of Nella Larsen, written by Professor George Hutchinson and was surprised to learn that the funeral parlor that handled Nella's funeral service was located just a few blocks away from me and was still in business.

For some reason Nella had been heavy on my mind and I found myself consumed with an urgent need to visit her but I couldnt remember the name of the cemetery and I couldn't locate Hutchinson's book in my vast library (ok not vast...but sorta kinda) and so I started to surf the net in search of the information and that's when I stumbled upon the cyber-home of Heidi Durrow.

Apparently Heidi and Nella Larsen have quite a bit in common; they're both bi-racial (Black and Danish) female writers. Heidi was recently awarded the Bellwether Prize for Fiction for her novel: The Girl Who Fell From the Sky which Publisher's Weekly dubbed one of the ten top debut's of the season. Heidi feels that Nella is her muse. Not a bad muse to have, huh? (smile)

But as wonderful as all of those accolades are - I was most impressed by her generous and caring spirit.

And why is that, you ask?

Well she placed a headstone on Nella Larsen's previously unmarked grave.

Isn't that awesome?

Armed with the information my gal-pal and I jumped into my car and hurried over to the cemetery (just four hours before I was due to board my flight to Oooo-hio) because I had to visit Nella before I took flight - I just had to!

It was an adventure just trying to find the grave. We got turned around a number of times until we came upon a "Papi" who has been a worker at the cemetery for 25 years. He took us straight to Ms. Nella.

Her grave is perched on top of a small hill. At the right time of the day her grave is blanketed by the shade of a nearby tree. The grass is a vibrant green and well manicured. It's a pleasant, peaceful resting place.

We cleaned off the tombstone and had a moment of silence.

I thanked Nella for sharing her gift with the world as she paved the way for generations of writers of color. I offered my condolensences for a career that was cut short by an accusation that left a black mark on her heart which caused her to disappear into obscurity never to write or publish another word again. And I thanked her for the story (Glorious) that she and Zora Neale Hurston saw fit to bring me ( I ain't crazy ya'll) and then I set my gift (seashells) down on her headstone and wished her so long, until next time we meet...





Upon my return from Ohio I was pleased to find a note in my inbox which stated and I quote:

"All of us here at (publishers name) love your novel "Glorious" and we would be honored to publish the book."


This is just another one of those "toe-curling" life moments............

Bernice L. McFadden

Her "dark" roots revealed.....

Bernice L. McFadden

A year of doubt...a story of faith.

A little over a year ago I was sitting at my computer (as usual) working on what, I don't remember - when - I was suddenly stricken with a weird, pain on the left side of my head. I went to lay down and when I got up again I was completely off kilter. I would come to learn that I had vertigo.

Have you had it? I would not wish it on my worse enemy. Okay...maybe I would.

What followed the vertigo was the publishers decision not to renew my Geneva Holliday contract and the fact that my manuscript (Glorious) had been submitted to the who's who of editors and none were biting. Each rejection letter chipped a little bit of me away.

Okay.

That was all back in July. By September I was spinning in one spot, putting together proposals for shit I didn't even want to write. All of this as I shook my fist at the heavens and damned my guides for bringing me a story that know one seemed to want to ...buy.

I went to Jamaica and had a come to Jesus session. I stood at the waters edge and apologized to the universe and my guides. I had behaved shamefully. Like a spoiled child throwing a tantrum. I returned home and sat down to work on another draft of Glorious.

By November i was done and apparently so was the the list of editors my agent thought was best suited for the book. My doubt returned because the feedback seemed to suggest a general consensus where my career was concerned: My career needed to be resurrected (Resurrected!) and Glorious wasn't the book that would do that.

Imagine my surprise...I didn't even know my career had died. Did someone bury it and not invite me to the funeral?

(smile)

Moving forward -

The winter was suddenly upon me and with it came the short, dreary, cold days that are so typical of the season. I escaped again, this time to Barbados.

Ten days in the sun and surf can do wonders! I was reinvigorated and back at home I started on another book. While writing it I was hit with what seemed to be a avalanche of bad luck - this combined with the Vertigo and the havoc the market was wreaking on my portfolio - was not a great mix - nevertheless, I marched forward.

By May I'd completed the sixth and final draft of the new manuscript and it was ready to be shopped. I sent out twenty query letters and within a few days I'd received five "please send the entire ms" from agents. A good sign -- which meant I had basically nailed the query letter.

Since then two agents have come back to say that the book was not for them.

Why?

One said: The story is great, the writing solid -- but the AA literary reader market would not support the story.

Why it got to be supported by the AA literary reader market? It's not even AA literary story - It's an African story for chrissakes...

Someone else said the story moves too slow at the beginning. So? Did you read Life of Pi...that was fifty pages of *yawn* -- but then it exploded!

This business is soooooo subjective!

Anyway, it's still with three agents who have yet to come to a decision..

*No news is good news.*

Anyway - I still continued to look for a home for Glorious and in the midst of doing this - that and everything else - I had a dream about Zora Neale Hurston, which I took as an omen. Why wouldn't I when she was one of the "guides" who brought me GLORIOUS in the first place?

The dream encouraged me to remain committed to the book and I did...and I still do -but there are those days...you know the ones when you walk around with a stupid smile on your face even though you're screaming like a lunatic on the inside and the feeling of abandonment is like teh weight of a gorilla riding your back?

By the end of May I was mentally and emotionally exhausted and so the twenty-one days of rain that drenched most of June - was quite okay with me - I could use the less than optimal weather to
throw myself into the YA novel I had started late last year.

SIDEBAR: I ALWAYS TAKE A VACATION BETWEEN PROJECTS - BUT IT JUST WASN'T POSSIBLE THIS GO AROUND

And so I soon found out that I did not have the emotional or creative capabilities to write anything other than a post for this blog. I was crushed and the more upset I became the worse the vertigo got.

A small voice in my mind said: "It's okay - all will be well."

But I ignored it.

On June 26th - nearly a year to the day when my life turned topsy-turvey - I boarded a flight to Memphis (Murphy's Law Saga).

What happened in those 12 hours was a culmination of a year of what may have seemed like one pitfall after the other, but I now realize was just growing pains. Change is always good - but sometimes it smarts - *ouch!*

When I woke up on June 27th - my vertigo was gone. Poof - like magic! And what followed over the next few weeks was a rush of ideas that left me scratching my head and asking: Why in the world hadn't I thought of that before?

It was like a veil had been lifted and a door opened. The worry that kept me up at night was gone and now I slept well pass sun up. My anxiety had been replaced with a feeling of calm that was almost...scary.

Last week I spent some time in Sag Harbor. A change of scenery can alter your perspective on things. Who knew a pool full of chlorine water could offer up an idea, just as exciting and well rounded as what I usually received from sea water? Well it did! And I think ya'll are going to love it!



Now mind you, my situation (on paper) still hasn't changed - but I know that it's about to 'cause the universe didn't bring me this far to drop me.

This past weekend a book club member hugged me and as she did she asked God to continue to bless me -

And I have no doubt that he will.

Bernice L. McFadden

I may have to take the high road aka e-book highway

Boyd Morrison uploaded his book - The Ark - to Kindle, apparently his sales were such that it set the dinner bells off at the publishing houses and they came a calling and now Morrison has a multi-book deal with Simon and Schuster.

Publishing is changing right before our very eyes. I gotta tell you though, I like the feel of a book, the idea of reading a book from a hand held device is not appealing at all. But to each it's own, right?

However, I am not opposed to utilizing it for the purpose of selling my books to those who prefer to read their literature on a flat screen.

And from the looks of things, this may be the easiest way to deliver my patiently-waiting-in-the wings-novel, Glorious, to the masses.

So, I need to know who amongst you owns one of these contraptions?

Here is the part where you look to your right and answer the poll ---------------->

Thank you kindly............

Bernice L. McFadden

My Own Personal Sally Hemmings revelation...

I am a student of history, often wiling away days and weeks researching items that are of interest to me. I have been researching my paternal history for more than a decade now. Every now and again I unearth some new jewel which more than makes up for the years of bumping into the same six foot high, concrete wall that is common place in the search for AA ancestors.

There are many variations of McFadden - MacFadyn, McFadyn, McFaddin - and so one can be a McFadden on the 1890 census and then magically transform into a McFadyn on the 1900 census - depending who is doing the recording.

Anyway, it seems that most AA McFadden's are descendants from a clan of McFadden's in the Carolina's. I have never found one piece of evidence to link my family to that clan.

My great-grandfather, Isaac McFadden was born in Texas in in 1860. His death certificate states that his mother Lizzie was also born in Texas. The birthplace of his father, Mingo, is unknown.

There is an 1870 Census with a nine year old boy named Isaac McFadden. The census is for Beaumont Texas, a town practically owned by the wealthy cattle rancher, William Perry Herring McFaddin, who had come from Louisiana to Texas with his parents in 1823. He moved to the town of Beaumont in 1833.

Isaac's parents are listed as James and Milla, both born in Kentucky. But we know the inaccuracy of historical records. Especially where AA records are concerned. So Im going to finally give myself permission to believe that the little boy on that census is indeed my g-great grand daddy.

Anyway, there is quite a bit of documented history on WPH McFaddin and his offspring. In fact, the family mansion still stands and is a museum known as the McFaddin-Ward House.

During my research I stumbled on another Beaumont, Tx census that I found very interesting. Teh year is 1880 and it lists Martha McFaddin, as a 38 year old negro woman who was born in Arkansas. She is a laundress and the head of her household. Her status is single. She has five children:

Harriet McFaddin - age 17 - negro - born in Texas - father born in Louisiana (she is also a Laundress)

Eliza McFaddin - age 12 - negro - born in Texas - father born in Louisiana

Roxey McFaddin - age 10 - mulatto - born in Texas - father born in London

Bashaba McFaddin - age 8 - mulatto - born in Texas - father born in London

Dallas McFaddin - age 4 months - mulatto - born in Texas - father born in London

There are three black male boarders who work in the saw mill.

Interesting that the last three children retain the McFaddin name and not the name of their white father. And is it just me, or do you feel like Harriet was a kept woman in a fairly nice sized house?

What does Harriet have to do with my g-grandfather? I don't know yet, but I suspect that they are kin.

Back to WPH McFaddin - I found a picture of him ( I love the Internet!) and I immediately saw my father's face in his face - do you see it?

Bernice L. McFadden

Do you Boo..

In 11 days I will be sitting on a panel at the Harlem Book Fair entitled: Killing Me Softly - how publishing is killing the black book market.

It's no secret that we will be discussing the fact that publishers are blatantly ignoring AA authors whose novels do not fall under the street, urban or erotica lit umbrellas.

(Know one ever told me life was fair.)

*shrugging shoulders*

I'm sure that on July 18th the discussion will be a passionate one complete with finger wagging, finger pointing, slander slinging and wailing - and that's just from the audience! LOL

*sigh*

Some of these urban lit authors think that we literary authors are "hating" on them. Maybe some of us are. But what I think most of us are calling for is BALANCE - an equal share of the marketing dollars and shelf space.

*hands thrown up in the air*

Let's keep in mind that one genre could not exist without the other. It would be like trying to grow a flower without a seed.

There would be no R&B, Hip-Hop and Pop, if not for Gospel & Soul.

Get it?

Nevertheless, aspiring urban, street and erotica authors - remain encouraged, and don't take our rants personally. It's not you we're upset with, its the industry and it's practices.


So, Do you boo and don't let anybody deter you from reaching your manifest destiny. I know I'm not going to let anybody deter me from reaching mine.


*peace sign*

Bernice L. McFadden