I've been thinking a lot about the relationships in my life. About relationships in general. Mostly though, about the ones I've lost over the years.
A few days ago, I stumbled across this quote that really hit home for me:
“The friend in my adversity I shall always cherish most. I can better trust those who helped to relieve the gloom of my dark hours than those who are so ready to enjoy with me the sunshine of my prosperity.” – Ulysses S. Grant
There was this woman who I considered not just a friend, but a sister-friend.
We spent a lot of time together and of course shared a lot of secrets and dreams. When my dreams came to fruition, the friendship slowly dissolved. Overtime, my phone calls and emails went unanswered. We had not had a disagreement of any kind and so her refusal to correspond with me left me completely baffled.
I shared this with another friend of mine, and that friend suggested that the former friend was jealous of my accomplishments.
The idea seemed ridiculous to me. We were friends, we loved each other like sisters, how in the world could jealousy exist between two people who love each other?
If life made it so that she was in my position, I would have been jumping up and down with joy for her! Not removing myself from her life because of envy!
But the more I thought about it, the more it seemed to make sense. And the realization made me very, very sad.
Another woman, someone I had known since 1985, stopped taking my phone calls after she attended a party at my home. This was someone I didn't see often and we only spoke on the phone a few times a year, but when we did see each other or spoke on the phone, we conversed for hours! It was as if no time at all had passed between us. I'd know this woman since 1985!
But after she came to my home...that was that!
I reached out to her a few months after the party and her tone was as cold and as frigid as a winter.
The flip side of course are those people that Ulysses S. Grant references in his quote.
When my life flipped over on its side and started flapping around like a fish out of water, a few of those people who had been perfectly content to be by my side when things were GREAT - scattered.
I think those are the "friends" that hurt me the most.
But as my cousin says: "A bad don't happen."
Which means, everything happens for a reason - and what we may perceive as a tragedy, is most often a blessing in disguise.
I'm happy that those people removed themselves from my life. They actually saved me the trouble of doing it myself down line.
And I'm proud to say that the head count was low...I can count them on one hand, so that is a blessing.
I'm very fortunate to have wonderful, loving, trusting people in my life. Some people don't have one person they can put their confidence in and I am blessed to have dozens.